How nice it is (even today at the end of 2014 – last day of the year at 4:00 a.m.) to visit someone else’s Fotolog just to check how a “prohibited love” is faring in her marriage life. I am not usually used to doing that but did anyway. Well, I for one do think it is nice because if she could not belong to me, she had the “obligation” to belong to someone else. It is our obligation to make ourselves happy and satisfied in this too short life of ours. It was maybe the weirdest love story (?) of my life. Maybe the fact we both love (d) poems and the English language (graduated from the Faculty of Letters too), made us feel closer to each other and made us feel we could expose some of the secrets of our hearts.
It was funny though, since after a somewhat meaningful exchange of poems, some arguments on purpose to prove her love for me, nice conversations between classes, secrets of our hearts secretly exposed, my funny and nice excuses to see her like dropping hundreds of magazines in English at her door and having to wait for almost half an hour to see her. Was she maybe brushing her teeth? Maybe getting better dressed to see me? No, she was badly dressed, those clothes you only wear to go to sleep, but she came to see me in those clothes anyway. My heart pumped, not for love, but just out of curiosity for what my heart was feeling at the moment. Funny though! There she appeared. I was almost killing myself for the decision to have dropped those stupid magazines at her door. Love makes us stupid, especially men!
Provocation between two friends is a nice sign of what is going on inside our hearts since if you do not provoke anything, it means you don’t feel anything in relation to that person. When a simple look from her turns you on, when a simple comment about a poem you made for her captivates your heart, when a simple smile from her makes you wonder why something prohibited is happening? You don’t want to understand, you just want to live that feeling without asking yourself so many questions. Well, I hope these 4 years she has been happier may be turned into 40 years since she is a girl of faith and fears Jesus like I do. I strangely feel happy when an “almost-ex-love” is happier and living a life to its fullest with the person she has envisioned living. She understands why I am writing in English and specially the title of this poem!
A wonderful and blessing 2015 to the BIRD!